Have you ever been so confused on what you want to go to school for? What your goal is to be? Who your suppose to be? What your good at? What your passion is? What are you passionate about? These are thoughts that are going on in my head on a regular basis. i consider my self a young mom, NOT A teen one! But a young one. I decided to pop out a baby first then go to school. It wasnt my plan but what can ya do?! I currently have a job that ive been at for 2 years (including mat leave) so technically one year. Its a great job and i love it. The pay is alright, id make more in the city but this will have to do. I work with people with intellectual disabilities. I take individuals out, administer their meds. Assist with baths etc. its kinda the perfect job for me. Its not a job where im stressed at the end of the day. I do love it but is this what i want to do for the rest of my life? Kinda but not really! I would love to get a degree in something, but im not sure what. My options land in teacher, youth care worker, EA or maybe even a therapist. People tend to come to me with their problems. Im a good listener apparently. I just don’t know what to be. Some days i just really wanna be a freelance makeup artist. Like the YouTube beauty gurus. I do my sisters makeup but i feel weird cause I’m so close to her face and It feels like im painting it. Too close for comfort for my liking. I dont like people breathing on me or vice Versa its awkward.
My love for makeup does keep growing though. It was something i wanted to do in high school but now not so much. I have no idea what i want to do anymore. One day i think being a youth care worker is great but then all of sudden my mind wanders to being a nurse again. Then somedays i just want to be a stay at home mom. Right now I’ve realized all i can do is focus on my daughter and be the best mom i can to her. My terrible twos started early for me. Fits everyday. Attitude. The things she does to push my buttons. Goodness! Some days she cries and somedays i cry with her. Sigh. Being a mom really is a hard job. You never know how hard it is til you become one. One day i will have a great job and that may end up being a stay at home mom…who knows. Only time will tell.