Decorating my house

So after living in my place for about…9 months i FINALLY realized that i should be decorating it. I’ve never really thought of it. Well i did when we first moved in but my mind was else where. Other things on my mind, now it hit me that “hey, i need to make this feel like home” so for the past month I’ve been slowly decorating it. Put up a few hooks behind doors, got mirrors set up. Hung some adorable hooks i got at homesense in my daughters room. I got some purple curtains for my daughters room and dark grey ones for master bedroom. I love my bedrooms dark when i sleep. When i lived at home i had a basement bedroom. So when it was nighttime it was BLACK in there lol. I recently got new bedding, more like a new duvet cover from ikea. I got purple pillows and the duvet cover and 2 pillows are light grey. I am in love! I love ikea. Is it bad that im there weekly? Cause i am. No joke. I always have to get something, or perhaps just browse and get ideas. My parents are in the process of doing renos on their new house. So my mom loves going to ikea for ideas and little things. I Love bringing my daughter there but she always throws a fit when we leave. And spazzes when we go thru the kids area. NOT FUN. No one loves a screaming and kicking kid. All that i have left for my bedroom is some accent pillows and a different sheet. Right now its zebra!
I’ve been slowly getting into DIY projects. I’ve made a bracelet holder.

All i needed was a glue gun, spray pair beads, wine cork and candle holder. Who knew crafts were so fun and easy. My next project is a necklace holder.
I’ve ended up putting all my daughters toys back in her room, cause before they were in the office. But now im decorating the office. Making my desk smaller (it has an attachment to it that im taking off) and i would like to add a futon or something in there when we have guests over. My husband has his friend(s) out sometimes and lately they sleep on the couch or floor. Im sorry but no one deserves to sleep on the floor. Not unless you have 5 million blankets under you. Haha when i slept on the floor as a kid I’d like to feel that i was sleeping on a marshmallow.
I also need to buy pictures for our bedroom, bathroom and our living room. The walls are pretty bare.

Next month me and the husband plan on buying a laptop so i do planning on blogging more and making my blog public. No one knows that i blog except my husband and i doubt that he reads my blog. I feel all embarrassed, i just dont understand blogging yet. I rarely add pictures but it will all come with time!

Bye blog

What’s In My Purse

So today im at work, the time changed happened and I’m beyond tired. I didn’t realize that 1 hour would make such a difference but it did.
Im going to blog about whats in my purse. I saw someone Instagram a pic of whats in their purse so i was like hmmm… Ill blog whats in my purse.

1) my journal from dollarama. My mom always taught me that journaling is a good thing and it helps. Sometimes when im upset ill let it out on people that i love and thats not really good so now i try to my journal my emotions haha.
2) my devotional book. Its called devotions for a sacred marriage by Gary Thomas. I dont always have this book with me. Just usually when i go to work for something to read. Its so far an amazing book! I love it!
3) my iPod.
4) hand sanitizer. Im a germ freak
5) hand lotion
6) TAMPONS. For when Mother Nature decides to surprise me 😉
7) my work schedule
8) my mom planner. Its just a calendar that im trying to write stuff down and what not.
9) my chewy adult vitamins. I carry these around cause i usually take them when i work in the morning cause i will end up going to Tim hortons and buying breakfast and your suppose to take them with a meal.
10) my sugar rose lip treatment. Works AMAZING
11) a little sewing kit. Incase a button falls off or something has a little tear.

If i have my daughter then some more things are in my purse are her snacks and sippy and a bottle. Ugh I’m trying to wean her off the bottle. Shes almost a year and a half and it just hasn’t happened yet. I need to find the right sippy that she will love.

My daughters Birthstory

Well lets see…

Nov 14, I was HUGELY pregnant. I looked like i was carrying twins. But anywho. On with the story.
It started at 6 am. I woke up with some slight contractions. They didn’t hurt to bad, around 7 am i texted my boyfriend(now husband) and i said “i think I’m in labor, you probably shouldn’t go into work”. He worked 45 mins away in a different city. He replied “im sure your fine.” And he left for work.

Around 730 they started getting closer together. I started to panic a bit. In my mind, i was freaking out. Thinking what if i have to have this baby in my bed? What if I’m dilated and don’t know it? What if i have to pee and the Baby comes out in the toilet? Lol you know the crazy things that go on in your pregnant mind. So i started timing my contractions for half an hour. They varied from 4 mins apart to 11 mins apart. So i went upstairs and crawled into bed with my mom nonchalantly and told her i think I’m in labor. She asked me a bunch of questions and then scurried to get dress. I packed my things and off the hospital we went.
she asked me if i was ok every 5 mins.
The roads were foggy and slightly icy but she was hauling ass. We were flying by semi’s. it was great. I was scared i was gunna have my water break on her leather seats. So i got sit on a towel.

We made it to the hospital, I signed up at triage and waited. My fiancé came and then my contractions stopped. In the triage another lady was going thru labor hardcore, it made me VERY nervous. My water started slowly leaking when I went to the bathroom. I never saw my mucus plug. My BP was high. Hours later, they ended up inducing me just cause my BP was high. I ended up dilating very slowly. I mean VERY slowly. I got an epidural, took fentanyl. My contractions were bad. I was in labor for 36 hours. I pushed for 25 minutes and told my mom that this baby was not coming, they realized she was stuck. My fiance was there but i ended kicking him out cause my legs were in the stirrups and vagina were out haha. I felt uncomfortable. So my momma stayed. At least it was only 25 minutes. they ended up rushing me to the OR. I had to get an emergency C section. When they opened me up I felt everything. I was yelling and swearing. I definitely wasn’t prepared for a C section. I felt a lot of tugging and pushing on my tummy and it wasn’t a great feeling. They ended up knocking me out. I could still hear them and all I heard was “it’s a girl” …and just dead silence. She was born on nov 15 2011 at 4:20 pm. They put her in that incubator thingy to suck out the fluids. That didn’t work. She wasn’t breathing. My husband got kicked out. He went crying to my parents. He was scared. I was just done on the table. Completely out haha. They rushed B to the NICU and me to the recovery room. I had to wait in recovery for 2 hours. I woke up there 45 mins later feeling sick. The lady got me a bowl. I didn’t puke (thank god) I hate puking. So I asked to my parents or fiancé , or my kid. They said no. I was pissed. As far as I knew I may not have a baby cause she wasn’t breathing. 30 mins later my parents came in. They said all was well. B was 10 pounds. She has to have a splint attached to her arm cause of an IV. 15 mins later my fiancé and baby came in. She had a FULL head of hair on her little cone head. She was beautiful. They wheeled me out on a stretcher. My fiance’s family was there. His mom, sisters and brother, they were excited. His couple best friends came as well. One brought me gorgeous tulips. The next day B got jaundice and my milk didn’t come in. They had to prick her foot and she had to be on that UV bed thingy. We ended up being in the hospital for 6 day. (Monday -Saturday ) it was horrible. By Thursday I was very home sick. Recovering from a C section isn’t fun especially when your Doing it in the hospital. I was bleeding, my feet and legs were swollen. I was a hot mess. Saturday morning we went home. My milk finally came in. I cried lots. My tits got huge. I was pumped. dont have that big of boobs so this was the biggest they ever been. I had a bunch of family who were sooooooo excited to see Brooklyn. My fiancé ended up taking a week and a half off work to help me. Just cause if you had a c section you know it’s hard to get up fast for baby and move around. Plus with my legs swollen as can be, I thought my would explode. Ugh. Grossest feeling ever. I got a bunch of amazing gifts and felt so blessed.

Anyways my daughter wouldn’t latch to my boob but I did pump for a month. Until all of sudden i dried up. I had troubles producing milk. I could only pump 2-4 ounces at the most.

So that is My labor and delivery story. It was horrible.

Christmas stress

Im stressed.
My birthday weekend is next weekend( not this coming up one, but the next)
And i need another pair of jeans, a purse (cause my daughter bottle spilt in there) this cute sweater, my parents gifts and my brothers gf a gift, and a birthday dress.
So pretty much my birthday is the day before christmas (which is great, i love it) but christmas time makes me beyond broke lol i wish i was living at home! I get paid friday but i have to pay my cell bill, mortgage, buy my contacts which sadly are 200$. And pay my car insurance. All those bills added up are over 500$ Fml. and if you do your math calculations, i wont be able To get the stuff i want. 😦
Some days i wish i worked full time just so i could have that extra cash, cause right now i honestly need it. All this just stressed me out, MAJORLY.
i hate being a grow up. I will forever be a kid at heart.

Working PT mom

So i have been back at work since middle of september. talk about CRAZY! Im surprised I’m not lAte for work. Ever since having a baby i never make it on time for anything. I got to get myself ready, and then i need to get my daughter ready and make sure i have all her food and a bottle ready!
Work has been great so far. I work 3 shifts a week. Usually evenings, the odd day. I cant complain. I miss my daughter each time i go to work but it makes my shifts go faster. All my shifts are spread apart so its not to overwhelming. During my first week of work i had 3 shifts in a row, that made me very overwhelmed. Last time i do.
It makes it so much harder to go to work when My daughter cries at the window. It breaks my heart, as I’m sure it does all moms lol.
I cant wait to be on maternity leave again, i love staying home. Im jealous of all the moms who get be a SAHM.

Well thats how i feel about working. Buhbye diary

Changes

So our laptop is broken. It got dropped, as hard as the laptop waS, it smashed pretty good and wrecked part of my floor 😦 no bueno. So i have been without a laptop for a few months now. All i got is my good ol iphone. I really do miss typing on a keyboard tho lol

Anywho. Major life changes here… To me they are. The husband got a new job and my parents are MOVING into the country. By country i mean farm. My daughter turned 1. I’ve been outta my parents house for 6 months already, as well as married! Married life is definitely different but i love it!

What else is new in my mommy married world? Im 22 on the 24th. Christmas is by far the best thing ever. I don’t get why people always think is about Santa! Cause it isn’t! Its about Jesus’s birthday. My kid is gunna grow up knowing Santa is fake lol. Same with the Easter bunny and all that crap. As a kid i don’t think i believed in Santa. I feel like being a kid was sooo long ago. I feel like I’m 30 instead of 20. Way to young to be feeling this old.

Anyways. I don’t know what else to write. goodbye diary

Going Back To Work Next Week

So next week Tuesday, i am going to back to work. Man am i ever feeling anxious! I don’t want to leave my baby girl! i love my days with her, even when she drives me crazy! I can’t wait for the day that I do become a stay at home mom. I’m jealous of all the moms that get to. But going back to work, alot of moms do. I rather live with extra money then living pay cheque to paycheque. at least now i get to pay off some of my debt. that’s a plus!

I can’t believe how fast the year went by. My daughter isn’t a year yet. 2 more months until she is but time has gone by too fast! I wonder when I’m going to have another baby? Hopefully in 2 years if not sooner. I just can’t wait to be at home again. I dont think anyone understands how badly i wish i could stay at home. My mom was a lucky lady cause she got to stay at home with me and my brother!

90 things I want to teach my daughter

1. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of body.
2. The benefit of the doubt is sometimes the best gift we can give our friends.
3. There will always be mean girls – that doesn’t mean we find a tower and Rapunzel ourselves away from the world.
4. Your daddy has loved you better and longer than any boy ever will.
5. Your brothers will teach you how boys should treat you.
6. You’re always welcome in my wardrobe.
7. The world needs your point of view.
8. Food is a joy.
9. Your body is strong and capable of more than you can imagine right now.

10. Ice cream is a love language.

11. Cook, decorate, clean, organize because you love to, not because someone tells you you’re meant to.
12. Music makes everything better.
13. Dance – especially when you’re doing the laundry.
14. You’ll never be too old for me to rock you.
15. Nothing you tell me will ever make me want to stop hearing from you.
16. We need your story.
17. No prayer request is ever too small, too silly or too embarrassing to share.
18. Washing your face every night is the best kind of beauty routine.

19. BEN & jERRYS and popcorn make for a perfect evening.

20. Betty Crocker’s chocolate fudge is the best in the world.
21. A good movie can change how you understand someone else.
22. Words can build bridges between people.
23. Home is not where we live but who we love.
24. Your name holds a special meaning for us.
25. Inevitably I will splinter your heart. But we will tweeze it out together.
26. You taught me how to feel beautiful.

27. Staying up late to read a good book is never time wasted.

28. Good girls aren’t boring.
29. A great mascara is always worth the investment.
30. The “mommy wars” are a myth; we’re all in this together.
31. The best way never to worry about anyone gossiping about you is never to gossip about anybody.
32. Saying sorry first is a sign of strength not a weakness.
33. I’m on your side; especially on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.
34. Your body is not just yours. It’s a gift for your husband. I promise it’s worth waiting to unwrap together.
35. Sex for the first time will require a beautiful sense of humor and a partner who’s in it for life.

36. The movies lie. Passion isn’t a contorted exercise on a marble staircase, it’s doing the dishes together and lying with your feet touching in bed at the end of a long day.

37. Marriage is an act of courage, commitment and sacrifice. It’s also the most fun you’ll ever have with your best friend.
38. Always fight fair. But don’t be afraid to fight.
39. Long hair requires a really good conditioner.
40. God says He has made all things beautiful – that includes you, my love – no matter how you feel about your body
41. Fashion is not my forte; I look forward to learning from you.
42. I love the curves you added to my body.
43. A good cry is great therapy.
44. Christian women aren’t immune from cliques. Love on regardless.
45. Bad hair days are inevitable.

46. A strong man is never threatened by a strong woman.

47. Go big even if it means failing big. Especially then.
48. Be the friend you wish you had.
49. Travel.
50. You can’t control what others think about you. Let it go.
51. A first kiss should be toasted, treasured, savored.
52. I will be your best friend. But I will be your mother more.
53. Your dad will teach you about music. He has the best eclectic taste. 
54. Stop for sunsets.

55. Prince Charming isn’t a fairytale, he’s a myth

     

56. Daughters teach us about our mothers. You gave me back my mom.
57. Jesus loves you for you. Not for your ability to bear children.
58. Husbands need a wife. Not another mom.
59. It’s true what they say about childbirth and then some.
60. Love waits.
61. Patience is never wasted.
62. Don’t just Instagram your life. Live it.
63. Dad will be the one helping you with math homework.
64. Don’t be afraid of a broken heart.

65. The only thing holding you back from making a difference in the world will be yourself.

    Girlfriends are the best kind of free therapy there is.

66. Don’t be afraid to be foolish.
67. Real life is always better than online.
68. A good friend loves at all times. Period.
69. Eating too much nerds candy will be something your teeth make you regret in your thirties.
70. I’m more interested in your growth than your happiness.
71. I will earthquake wide open when you hurt.

72. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it, wear it or say it.

73. Challenge yourself.
74. Learn at least one other language.
75. Cross-cultural marriage is much harder than you can ever imagine when you first fall in love.
76. Homesickness never gets easier.
77. We need each other.
78. Bad haircuts grow out eventually.
79. You will love again.

80. The painful truth is always easier than a messy lie.

81. Jesus loves you, this I know. In my heart, my bones, my soul.
82. There’s no such thing as perfect.
83. You can always come home.
84. Nothing will make me love you less.
85. Nothing will make me love you more.
86. The mirror is not the boss of you.
87. You’re the most brave when you’re the most scared and keep going anyway.
88. Womanhood is a gift.
89. I’m never tired of being your mother.
90. You will always be my baby girl.

Blogging takes alot of time

So i always tell myself ” k later im going to blog when baby’s asleep” … Do i ever get around to doing it??? Nope.
I just have no ideA what to blog about or how to get started?! HELP ME!!!

Any who
My rant for the evening is People who leave their kids in car… Alone. That shit drives me crazy. Plus its ILLEGAL in canada. ( well at least in my province) So the other day i went to our local “mall” (it only has 2 good stores) and a white van had parked beside me with 2 kids in it. They were for sure both under 4. Maybe 5. It was +28 that day and they were banging on the window. The windows were cracked open a bit but i mean come on. Take your damn kids inside. I waited outside the van for almost 15 minutes. I wanted to see if the mom would come out. She didn’t. Lucky her cause she would of got an ear full. I was extra bitchy that day. Haha.
Question: Would you leave your kids in the car? Out of sight?

Geez… Im so stressed. Im on my “period”. Why do your periods change after having a baby? My period is like spotting pretty much. Such a waste of a tampon. It scares me cause i always think I’m pregnant.
I have a doctors appt. friday. Im dreading it. I hate the doctors. Definitely never a good time there.

Boo to doctors
Boo to periods
Boo to shitty parents.

been MIA

i haven’t been writing in my little online diary lately, due to my crazy ife

whats new with me? lets see… im married. my babygirl is almost 9 months and im not living at home anymore. i also got an iphone and totally am in love with it ( Screw Blackberry) . Did i mention that i got my first credit card? Yes! Life is peachy

 

Married life…. well lets just say that this first year is definitely the hardest. man, its even harder then it was before. we fight but not about the same things as before. now we fight over the most stupidest stuff ever. Like little pointless things. Other then that married life is great. I  love going to bed next to him and i love waking up next to him, i wouldn’t want it to be anyone else!

Baby life, lets see… B now has 4 teeth. an I-tooth, 2 bottoms and 1 of her top front ones. She is teething like CRAZY. she makes me want to pull out my hair. If she drives me this crazy, how am i suppose to have a second kid? Wouldn’t 2 kids drive me insane?! It makes me 2nd guess myself, if im a good mom or not.
She also can stand on her own and shes been crawling since 7 months. Shes growing up way to fast.
i hate the fact that when you have a kid your life is in fast forward…. time goes by too fast!

Wedding day – June 8 2012
My wedding day was perfect. We had a great afternoon for pictures (before the wedding) and our dinner and reception was at 530. My husbands sisters were late. I am an ontime girl (that made no sense) at 5:30 i was expecting to be walking down the aisle, not waiting an extra 15 minutes. I was hyperventilating before walking down. Ya i love being around people but I dont always like the spotlight on me. My daughter was brought down on a little wagon by my little cousin. She pretty much stole the show.
I would love to get married all over again. I cried alot, thru my reception, everyone had amazing speeches and such nice things to say about my husband. It was amazing. Im so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with the most amazing husband/daddy in the world.

I couldn’t be more blessed